Singingchicky's Journals

Questions for you, the reader.

So I realize that my fan fiction isn't really going anywhere right now...

Should I stop? and by that I mean stop posting it on here. Personally I'm going to keep going until I can end it.

What do you guys think? and if the answer is no, how should we go about this: I can try to post something once a week, but that's kind of it.

Let me know.

singingchicky

New to the tour (Scene 23)

“So what are we going to watch?” I asked as he grabbed a couple of blankets for us. The bus started heading towards our next venue.

“ How about Nightmare before Christmas?” He replied happily. I knew what was on his mind.

“That’s how we got in trouble in the first place. I’m sure you remember. “ I said, kissing him sweetly.

“What about… Tenacious D?”

I smiled. “Alright. Only if you don’t object to me singing all the songs.” I said, getting up to put the movie in. Brendon grabbed me around the waist.

“SPEED BUMP!” he said, pulling me down into his lap. I playfully smacked his chest before getting up again. I grabbed the movie and started it, settling back next to him, wrapping a blanket around my torso. Amidst the exhilarating rain, I’d forgotten to ask Odessa about grabbing me some clothes, as I was soaking wet.

“So how do you think your fan girls are going to take this?” I asked him, smiling.

“They’ll live. Besides, you’re the only fan girl I really care about.” He whispered in my ear. I smiled. He knows how to make me swoon.

“How did we get all mushy?”

“I’m not sure.” He said, a funny confused look on his face.

“Eh, me either. Oh well. I’m sure it’ll come and go, right?”

“Right. You know? Your eyes are really beautiful in this light.”

“What light? It’s cloudy outside.” I said, snuggling closer to him. I started to shiver now that the wetness of my shirt came to thought.

“Hold on a sec.” He said, sitting me up as he walked to the back of the bus. I held the blanket closer to me as I waited. Damn my silliness. When he came back, he was shirtless. “Here, take this and put it on. You’ll be warmer.” He said, handing me a oversize shirt.
“Alright…” I said, looking around for a place to change.

“Oh. Um, over there.” He said, pointing to a small door in the back of the bus. I walked briskly towards it, and came out a few moments later, feeling a bit warm already.

“Walk of shame…” I heard teasingly from a bunk nearest me. I found the nearest pillow and threw it in at Ryan (the voice in the bunk)

“Psh. Please.” I said as I walked to the front, pulling the shirt down in the back out of habit.

“Hm… I don’t think I like this shirt.” He said with a mischievous smile.

“Well I’m going to reply with a too bad.” I said, resuming my original place: snuggled up to him. “So I think we’ve missed the first 20 minutes of the movie.”
“Oh Well. It’s more of background noise at this point.” He said, stroking my hair. I grabbed the small remote for the TV and turned the movie off. It was nice to only hear the wipers of the bus and our breathing as we stayed in a sort of euphoric state. I watched the rain fall outside, a sheet between the terrain that zoomed by us. I didn’t notice Brendon staring at me the whole time until I glanced at him.

“What?” I said, smiling up at him. Somehow I had slid from being on his shoulder to in his lap.

“What are you thinking about?”

“I dunno. Just, things. Wrapping my head around all that’s happened.”

He smiled down at me, lifting my head so that he could kiss my lips. I sat up to his level, my hand on his chest. I felt his arms enclosing me, and instantly felt like it was the first time all over again. I tried to contain myself for the sake of those in the back, but he made it very hard. When we finally came up for air, he still held on to me. We attempted to lay next to each other, but I ended up falling on the floor.

“Oops.” I said amongst my small fit of giggles.

“Oh no! Speed Bump!” He said, toppling onto me.

“Ow my entire life!” I said, a little winded.

“Your such a cute dork.”

“You too.” I kissed his cheek before throwing him off (at least to my side)
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I apologize for the lateness, but better late than never, no?

So how does this hold up... I really haven't written anything for this thing in a REALLY long time...

Currently Working....

I am currently working on another installment of New To the Tour...

But I don't remember it being this hard to write, WTF? So I'm not sure when the next part will be up, probably tomorrow, maybe with luck tonight.

xoxo

Singingchicky

Oops.

Alright. I totally know that I've been a really bad fan fiction writer. I totally get it. Just know that I am going to finish this story... at some point. But right now it's just not happening. Who knows? Maybe I'll be cool and write some more this weekend! But hey, college is unpredictable.

xoxo

singingchicky

New to the tour (Scene 22) REAL ONE! lol

I listened intently to his words, hoping for something that would set me off again, but it never came. He told me almost every detail of that night, from the moment he left rehearsal to when we talked. I won’t lie, I was still pretty pissed at him, but somehow hearing the final details of it all, I realized, it wasn’t as bad as I made it out to be. Yes he cheated, yes it was wrong, but it honestly wasn’t what I thought. Or what any of us thought. He was really drunk, went into the back with a girl, almost did something he regretted, and stopped. He called it cheating, and still I don’t know if there really is a right word for it.

“You promise me you didn’t do anything but kiss her?” I asked after he finished.

“I promise on all that I love dearly.” Brendon replied, raising his right hand.

“You swear on all the Capri Suns and Red Bull in the universe?” I said, almost cracking a smile.

“Well..” He said, before tackling me. He caught my attempts and kissed me. I didn’t push him away this time. “Of course I do. So we’re cool?”

“Yes. We’re cool. But are they mad at me?” I asked as Brendon helped me sit up again.

“No!!” I heard from the very back of the bus. I smiled.

“OK!” I yelled back. “So what now?” I said, feeling better, from both falls.

“Well, we can stay on the bus and watch a movie if you want. I don’t think I should send you out in the rain again.” He said, suppressing a laugh. I looked out the window to see it pouring.

“How long before we start moving again?” I asked, smiling.

“Like, 20 minutes? Why?”

“Follow me.” I said, walking to the doors and opening them. I watched my step as I got off, but after that, there was no stopping me. I ran into the rain, spinning and laughing. Brendon ran up to me, an umbrella in hand.

“That’s no fun! I promise you won’t melt.” I said, throwing my head back and flinging my arms out, letting every raindrop kiss my face. I couldn’t remember a better moment. I felt a familiar tug around my waist, stopping me from spinning, but pulling me close.
“I love you.” He whispered in my ear as he leaned in to kiss me.

Instantly everything felt right. I couldn’t believe that I was mad at him. In fact, I forgot why I was in the first place. It wasn’t until we heard both busses making catcalls that we even realized that we were still on tour, or that we needed to be somewhere.We walked back to the busses, blushing and shivering.

“OW OW!!” Odessa yelled as we walked up, arms around each other.

“Oh hush.” I said, smiling and bowing my head a little.

“So where do you want to stay for now, your bus or mine, Doll face?” Brendon said, drawing me closer to him to kiss my head.

“It’s so your turn Ryan! We dealt with them last time.” Adam yelled across the way, laughing.

“Ok, but no red bull Bden!” Ryan yelled, opening the doors to the bus for us.

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YAY! I was reading my other entries and became instantly inspired. Well that and good music :) What do you guys think? I'm sorry it took me... just about 6 months to get back on track. But I promise that it's worth the wait :D don't forget to comment, tell me if you think it's too mushy gushy or if you like it :D

New to the Tour (Scene 21)

The next morning, I felt a little better than I had in a few days. Well, except for my back hurting a bitâ�¦ but thatâ�™s what you get for falling asleep on a bus couch. The bus had stopped again, which was one of the reasons I had woken up. When I looked at my phone, I had a new text message. Wondering what the hell, I opened it and read these simple words:

Come to the bus as soon as you get this.

Hurrying to brush my hair and wipe away any traces of crappy makeup, then change. Now, changing on a bus was not an easy task by any means. So I made due, just changing my shirt to my Panic band tee.

â�œWhatâ�™s the rush?â� Odessa said, coming from the back with her hair a bit messy.

â�œCanâ�™t talk, gotta go bye.â� I said quickly. I already had my hand on the handle and was about to leave. I walked slowly (to keep my cool really) to the Panic bus, but in my attempt to be smooth as I knocked on the door, I slipped and fell before I could get there. I hadnâ�™t realized that it was really wet due to the rain from earlier that morning. I had hit my head fairly hard, along with my hands.

â�œFuck!â� I yelped before bursting out in laughter. It only took a few seconds for Brendon to come out off the bus to help me up. I smiled up at him. â�œHey gorgeous.â� I said, finally feeling better, and a bit dizzy.

â�œNayra, are you alright?â� He said, helping me onto their bus.

â�œIâ�™m fine.â� I said, trying to convince myself of it. â�œJust a bitâ�¦ dizzy I guess.â�

â�œIt sounded like you hit your head pretty hard. Let me see.â� He said, pulling my head gently towards him, examining it. â�œDoll face, you have a big bump and a few scratches here.â�

â�œHey, donâ�™t call me doll face just yet. We still need to talk.â� I said, waiting patiently for Brendon to be done examining me. He smiled.

â�œAlright. You seemed to be fine. But you need to drink something I thinkâ�¦ I donâ�™t know. Iâ�™m not a doctor.â� He said, showing what he has probably felt this entire fight.

â�œWater sounds really good. Got any?â� I said, hoping to keep this good mood that I was in, even though I had no clue how to proceed from here. He held up a hand, walked to his little fridge and came back with a bottle of water. â�œThanks. Alright. We need to either get through this, or figure out something for the rest of the tour. Because honestly? Iâ�™m thinking about just walking away from this whole thing.â�

He turned my shoulders to face away from him, starting to look at the bump on my head. â�œI agree. Not with you leaving, but with getting through this. I still canâ�™t believe that I did this to you.â� Brendon replied, the truth ringing true in his tone. His fingers gently trailed up and down my scalp, sending me into such a tizzy that I completely forgot what was going on for a minute. I grabbed his hands, realizing they were steadily going slower. When I turned to look at him, he kissed my cheek and turned me around again.

â�œI really donâ�™t knowâ�¦ howâ�¦â� I said, trailing off a bit, going into a sort of euphoria with his gentle touch on my head. I shut my eyes, trying to focus. â�œHow I am going to trust you, but Iâ�™m willing to give it one more shot. Only because I know how you get when it comes to booze and women. It doesnâ�™t excuse it, but Iâ�™m willing to consider this aâ�¦ rather large bump in the road. Ow!â� I yelped as he finally put pressure on the bump on my head.

â�œOh crap. Alright. Let me seeâ�¦â� He stood up to look for something. â�œif we have any ice.â� He opened the little fridge at the other side of the bus. It wasnâ�™t until then that I realized that we were the only onesâ�¦ at least in the front of the bus. Did they already hate me for acting like this?? â�œOh! Good, thereâ�™s an ice pack. I bet Ryan put it in here. Put this on your head and letâ�™s see if your hands are still bleeding.â� I looked down at my hand for the first time before he took one of them in his. They werenâ�™t too bad, but they were covered in little traces of blood. He stood up to grab a small first aid kit sitting on top of the small fridge, and proceeded to take care of my scrapes. â�œ Nayra, I know that I could never apologize enough for what Iâ�™ve done, but Iâ�™m going to sure as hell try.â�

â�œOk.â�
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Sorry this is super late! I've been "SUPA" busy lately!! Stupid classes lol. But yes. It's also getting harder thinking about how I'm going to end this. The end is coming soon, but I'm just not sure yet how it's going to end... so STAY TUNED!

Oh! Please tell your friends to read this too!

What's up? What's new? Come in and see!! (New to the Tour stuff too!)

Hey guys!!
I'm really sorry I haven't been updating New to the Tour lately... but I have a good reason. I swear! So first off, I've been busy. I have been working, before I was doing school and next week I start up again. So that's one thing that has been stopping me from working on it. As for updates and a possible finish date, no clue. Sorry. But I know that I want to finish this plot up so I can start on a new one. Honestly, I'm very much a scatterbrain when it comes to these things, and I'm also a bit ADD about it too... so yeah.

Also, something that has been keeping me from working on it.
I have been DYING to tell people ever since I decided on it and now I can truly say it.
*breathes deeply* alright. Here it goes.
I am auditioning for Americaâ�™s Got Talent.
What? Too small to read?? Here.. try this one:
I am auditioning for Americaâ�™s Got Talent.
What? Still too small??
One more time:
I'M AUDITIONING FOR AMERICA'S GOT TALENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AH!!!!!!!!
Oh yeah! you guys don't know what I can do do you??? Well, I'm a singer. A pretty damn good one if I do say so myself. And I've been told by others that I can too. But OME* I cannot wait! I've been wanting to do this since the show started 4 years ago and I can't believe that I'm actually going to do this. One of my closest friend's husband did my audition video and OME is he amazing! Seriously, that guy's got TALENT! I would've just gone and auditioned, but I can't make the auditions right now...But I think that I've taken up more of your time than I wanted to. I should have something up for New to the Tour soon.. but you'll understand if I don't have more, right???

Wish me luck!!

xoxo
Singingchicky

*For those of you who aren't Twilighters or Twihards, like me, OME stands for Oh My Edward. :)

New to the Tour (Scene 20)

(Nayra)

When the one you love has betrayed you, how do you pick up the pieces? Do you ignore the obvious betrayal and act like the world is fine? Or do you let the grief consume you until the world holds no joy for you? This was the crossroad that I was standing at, as I stared blankly into the bathroom mirror of the rest stop. My eyes, bloodshot, looked as though theyâ�™d never seen light, whereas my face was still fire red with the fury I held inside. Iâ�™d been hurt before, but somehow this, this one felt like my entire life had come to a stop from the moment that I looked into his eyes. Part of me felt like I was dreaming it all, like I would just wake up and he would be next to me, smiling. Kissing my forehead. But deep down I knew the cold truth: he cheated. He slept with some girl because I wasnâ�™t enough for him. I wasnâ�™t worth waiting for. A small tear escaped my eyes before I even noticed it.

â�œThis is stupid.â� I said aloud, before washing my face of the makeup remnants that clung to my eyelashes. Composing myself, I walked out, trying to smile just that much more. It had been a few days since that fateful moment, and still it stung like it was a moment ago. I managed to fake something, enough for the rest of them to not see past it at least. Enough to get through one more day. I walked back on the bus, and almost instantly fell asleep.

(Dream)

â�œNayraâ�¦â� Brendon called from the far end of the meadow, which once seemed bright and full of life, but which was now full of dead grass and shriveled leaves.

â�œNo.â� I repeated, over and over, trying to show that I was tougher than before.

â�œNayraâ�¦.â� He called again, coming closer. I finally walked closer, giving in to the pain in my chest that seemed to be his doing. But as I walked closer, he took one step back, making it impossible to get to him. I tried to run towards him, but somehow couldnâ�™t go fast enough. The trees of the forest where he stood started to fly past me, but still I couldnâ�™t catch him. In an instant, he vanished from my site, leaving nothing but a rustle of a branch or two behind him.

â�œBRENDON!â� I yelled, trying to find him, but never succeeding. I fell to the ground, the gray billowing dress skirt around me bubbling around me.

â�œBRENDON!â�

I woke up in a panic, trying to figure out what just happened. I looked out the window to see that it was still dark. I grabbed my phone, checking the time. 3:00 a.m.

â�œUrgh.â� I said, throwing my head back down onto my pillow, but simply staring at the stars instead of drifting back to sleep.

â�œHoly crap Nayra, are you alright?â� Odessa said, finally coming over. She looked about as tired as I did, but also a bit more concerned than I did.

â�œFine. Justâ�¦ a bad dream I guess.â� I smiled at her as best I could in the moonlight.

â�œAlright. Well, just go back to sleep, alright?â� She said before stumbling back to her pallet. I sighed, trying to go back to sleep, but only thinking of him for the first time in almost a week. I grabbed my phone again, the backlight hurting my eyes.

((guide to the texts : *-Nayra to Brendon, *-Nayra to Ryan, **Ryan, Brendon))

*â�™Heyâ�™

â�˜Heyâ�™

*â�™Look, I donâ�™t know how to put this in any other way, butâ�¦ Iâ�™m still really upset about what you did, but I canâ�™t stop thinking about you.â�™

â�˜Nayra, you have to know that Iâ�™m really sorry about that.â�™

*â�™ I know. It just doesnâ�™t change the fact that you did it. Why did you do it?â�™

â�˜I wasnâ�™t thinking. I got really drunk and justâ�¦ let myself goâ�™

â�™Maybe we can work this out, but itâ�™s not going to be easy.â�™

I re-read the text a couple of times, trying to figure out if I should give in or not.

*â�™I know. Letâ�™s see what happens tomorrow.â�™

â�˜Alright. I love you.â�™

*â�™I love you too.â�™

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What do you think should happen?! What are your predictions?! Tell me in a comment!!

New to the Tour (Scene 19)

Because I am such a professional, I acted like nothing was wrong with me. In fact, I turned my anger at Brendon into pure energy, making it to the point where I was utterly tired at the end of the night. The only time I almost lost it was during Brendon and my duet. I kept from looking at him the entire time, making sure that when I did it was a disguised look of happiness. After all, how was I supposed to react, especially in the middle of the song? It seemed that I had fooled even him because he came up to me after the concert like nothing had happened.

â�œHey Doll face.â� He said, obviously trying to bait me with the one thing that could make my knees weak. I almost faltered, but remembered why I was so angry at him in the first place. I took the water bottle that I was drinking from and threw it in his face before walking to the dressing room to prepare for meeting fans.

News apparently travels quickly when it comes to tours, especially among fans. I had at least four girls looking at me like â�œoh my god, you poor thing!â� and a few looking at me like â�œDamn, I wish I was the girl he cheated with.â� It got to the point where I couldnâ�™t take it anymore. I started signing faster, claiming I was feeling sick, and when I was mostly done, I walked to the bus, not even caring that everyone was staring at me. I grabbed the first pillow I could find, threw my face in it, and screamed as loud as I could. â�œHow could he do this to me?! I was nothing but faithful to that slime ball! Adam warned me about guys like him, but did I listen? No. And now I am going to be on the cover of some sleazy magazine, apparently heartbroken by the fact that he went and screwed some other chick.â� I tried to compose myself, but it was turning out to be in vain. I buried my face back into the pillow, this time crying uncontrollably. I didnâ�™t even realize that there was someone at my side until they put their arm around me.

â�œYou ok?â� Odessa said, still flush from the concert.

â�œIâ�™m fine.â� I lied, wiping my face of the now black marks everywhere.

â�œBulltiki. Ryan told me what happened. Do you want to talk about it? Or should I just go kick his ass?â� She said, trying unsuccessfully to get me to smile.

â�œNo. Itâ�™s fine. Iâ�™m justâ�¦ in shock you know? Was I really that bad of a girlfriend?â� I asked, watching Panic sign autographs. I could see from here that Brendon felt a bit like I did right now, but I wasnâ�™t going to cave and just say everythingâ�™s going to be ok.

â�œNo! Of course not!â� She said, grabbing a tissue from a box nearby and wiping my tears (and now messed up makeup). I tried to compose myself so that I could go back into the arena to help gather the equipment. I stood up, adjusting my shirt out of nervous habit, and walked out of the bus, faking a smile.

It seemed that no one else really noticed anything after that, which I was thankful for. I didnâ�™t take acting classes for three years for it not to work. In fact, it worked so well that I almost forgot why I was upset in the first place, until I saw Brendon coming closer and closer to me. I took a deep breath while I picked up my guitar case.

â�œHere, Iâ�™ll get that.â� Brendon said, obviously walking on eggshells.

â�œNo, itâ�™s fine. Iâ�™ve got it.â� I replied, still not able to control the sharp icy tone in my voice.

â�œNayra, donâ�™t be like that.â� He said, grabbing my arm and walking to a secluded corner.

â�œI have to help load shit on the bus.â� I said, not looking at him. I hadnâ�™t looked at him truly since he came up to me before the show.

â�œPlease, hear me out. I know I messed up, but you have to forgive me.â� He said, a true tone of plea in his voice. I kept my head down. â�œNayra look at me.â� He said, grabbing my face gently and making me look into his now hurtful eyes.

â�œI-I canâ�™t do this.â� I said before briskly walking away from him. I tried to ignore him calling my name as I went to help some more.

Iâ�™d finally calmed down about an hour after the bus started going to one of the last places on the tour: Seattle. I had put my headphones in, not wanting to be disturbed by anyone, and listening to â�œIf I were a boyâ�. Odessa came over a couple of times, to make sure I was still breathing I guess, then went back on the other side of the bus. It started raining that night, the first of a weekâ�™s worth. My usual happiness that came with such rain was nowhere near the betrayal that I felt in that moment. It wasnâ�™t until we were almost to the rest stop that Adam came over with Ben.

â�œAlright. Seriously, you arenâ�™t going to do anything drastic, are you?â� Ben said, trying to make me laugh. I showed a weak smile.

â�œNo. I promise not to jump off anything, unless itâ�™s a bed.â� I said, cracking my own little joke.

â�œYou know, I could go kick his ass.â� Adam said, puffing his chest out, as if it would make a difference. I laughed. The first time in almost 6 hours it felt like.

â�œThat wonâ�™t be necessary. I already threw water on him.â� I replied, feeling a little bit better, but guilty at the same time. I yawned, having gotten little to no sleep the night before.

â�œYou look tired. Weâ�™ll leave you be, alright?â� Adam said, ushering Ben with him to the â�œboyâ�™sâ� side of the bus as I drift off to sleep, listening to yet another depressing song and hearing Odessaâ�™s melodic voice talking to someone on the phone.

(Odessaâ�™s Conversation)

Odessa: Howâ�™s he doing?

Ryan: Alright, I guess. Heâ�™s ready to punch something though. Never a good sign.

Odessa: Sheâ�™s been upset for the past hour or so. She just barely went to sleep. What the hell happened anyways?

Ryan: Well, last night, after rehearsal, Brendon and I went for a drink at this local bar, just to relieve some stress. This girl kept hitting on him, and shot after shot he started talking to her. Next thing I know, they are off to some random location. I didnâ�™t realize what he had done until it was too late. Mostly because I was pretty shit faced myself.

Odessa: Oh my god. And now he feels guilty?

Ryan: Yeah. Oh wait, hereâ�™s Brendon apparently.

Brendon: Odessa?

Odessa: Yes Brendon?

Brendon: Can you get Nayra for me?

Odessa: I donâ�™t know about that Brendon. Sheâ�™s still pretty upset.

Brendon: Oh. Justâ�¦ tell her Iâ�™m sorry.

Odessa: Sheâ�™s asleep Brendon. Iâ�™ll tell her in the morning.

Brendon: Alright. Hereâ�™s Ryan.

Ryan: Well we better let you go. You guys will need all the rest you can get. Night.

Odessa: Night.

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More soon. Like I said, it's kinda coming to a close pretty soon.

Twilight Review.. a quicky

Ok. So I got back from Twilight about... half an hour ago? And STILL every time I see Robert Pattinson, I just about faint. I freaking loved this movie!!! The cinematography was astonishing, the acting amazing, and it was all around beautiful AND MOSTLY spot on.

You HAVE TO GO SEE IT! The music rocks! And I couldn't believe how amazing this one part was..... but I can't tell you what part.

SPOILER ALERT:
He's a VAMPIRE. A very HOT VAMPIRE.

Off to dreaming
xoxo
singingchicky

PS,
I MIGHT DO A FANFICTION ABOUT IT AFTER NEW TO THE TOUR!