singingchicky

(Nayra)

            When the one you love has betrayed you, how do you pick up the pieces? Do you ignore the obvious betrayal and act like the world is fine? Or do you let the grief consume you until the world holds no joy for you? This was the crossroad that I was standing at, as I stared blankly into the bathroom mirror of the rest stop. My eyes, bloodshot, looked as though they’d never seen light, whereas my face was still fire red with the fury I held inside. I’d been hurt before, but somehow this, this one felt like my entire life had come to a stop from the moment that I looked into his eyes. Part of me felt like I was dreaming it all, like I would just wake up and he would be next to me, smiling. Kissing my forehead. But deep down I knew the cold truth: he cheated. He slept with some girl because I wasn’t enough for him. I wasn’t worth waiting for. A small tear escaped my eyes before I even noticed it.

            “This is stupid.” I said aloud, before washing my face of the makeup remnants that clung to my eyelashes.  Composing myself, I walked out, trying to smile just that much more. It had been a few days since that fateful moment, and still it stung like it was a moment ago. I managed to fake something, enough for the rest of them to not see past it at least. Enough to get through one more day. I walked back on the bus, and almost instantly fell asleep.

            (Dream)

            “Nayra…” Brendon called from the far end of the meadow, which once seemed bright and full of life, but which was now full of dead grass and shriveled leaves.

            “No.” I repeated, over and over, trying to show that I was tougher than before.

            “Nayra….” He called again, coming closer. I finally walked closer, giving in to the pain in my chest that seemed to be his doing. But as I walked closer, he took one step back, making it impossible to get to him. I tried to run towards him, but somehow couldn’t go fast enough. The trees of the forest where he stood started to fly past me, but still I couldn’t catch him. In an instant, he vanished from my site, leaving nothing but a rustle of a branch or two behind him.

            “BRENDON!” I yelled, trying to find him, but never succeeding. I fell to the ground, the gray billowing dress skirt around me bubbling around me.

            “BRENDON!”

            I woke up in a panic, trying to figure out what just happened. I looked out the window to see that it was still dark. I grabbed my phone, checking the time. 3:00 a.m.

            “Urgh.” I said, throwing my head back down onto my pillow, but simply staring at the stars instead of drifting back to sleep.

            “Holy crap Nayra, are you alright?” Odessa said, finally coming over. She looked about as tired as I did, but also a bit more concerned than I did.

            “Fine. Just… a bad dream I guess.” I smiled at her as best I could in the moonlight.

            “Alright. Well, just go back to sleep, alright?” She said before stumbling back to her pallet.  I sighed, trying to go back to sleep, but only thinking of him for the first time in almost a week. I grabbed my phone again, the backlight hurting my eyes.

((guide to the texts : *-Nayra to Brendon, *-Nayra to Ryan, **Ryan, Brendon))

*’Hey’

‘Hey’

*’Look, I don’t know how to put this in any other way, but… I’m still really upset about what you did, but I can’t stop thinking about you.’

‘Nayra, you have to know that I’m really sorry about that.’

*’ I know. It just doesn’t change the fact that you did it. Why did you do it?’

‘I wasn’t thinking. I got really drunk and just… let myself go’

’Maybe we can work this out, but it’s not going to be easy.’

I re-read the text a couple of times, trying to figure out if I should give in or not.

*’I know. Let’s see what happens tomorrow.’

‘Alright. I love you.’

*’I love you too.’

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